I'm back! - again

Well what a ride this time - but I am back and hiking up the valley I fell into last week. Part of the time was waking up at night placing my scalp back into place. How do you guys, who shave your heads, sleep at night? Maybe you shave everyday - yuk. Plus I have a patch work of stubble so I fall asleep without the stick effect only to wake up to - ouch, ouch ouchouchouch OUCH! The stubble acts like velcro and my head sticks to the pillow and as I slump my body moves but the skin don't -

It is like night and day when I feel better.

My left foot and knee buckled today. It's like they collapsed - only hurting for a brief moment - how strange. I definitely have to mention this one to my doctor. And Robyn - I have no idea idea what you mean - it's driving me crazy :o)

April 28th, 2008

This second session has been much harder than the first. I don't know why - one would think it would be almost easier because one would know what to expect. I am sleeping more and have less eagerness to eat and nothing tastes like it should. I am not motivated to doing anything. I don't even want to walk the dog and that is tragic. Maybe the gloomy skies make it harder - yes thats it - the gloomy skies.

YUCKY YUCKY YUCKY

Nothing is sacred so it goes. My nausea feeling is not as bad but my body functions are not controllable. This is really crappy -literally. I am trying different methods and anti-nausea pills along with a natural laxative to counteract the constipation and I haven't quite got it right. I am getting a much firmer butt with the clinch and dash routine. I got to make the most of it. My energy level is low as expected and I know it will be returning soon.

It took me an hour to try and post a photo today - I am exhausted.

Chemo #2

Once again I am met with happy smiley people at the cancer clinic. Boy oh boy they make it easier. I picked up a new prescription for Ativan to help me sleep this round and hopefully it will work. I have been home for 4 hours and the crappy feeling is starting to take over. I am taking all my drugs (anti-nausea drugs) regardless - Sandy the nurse said take them regardless because it might be too late to start if the nausea feeling overwhelms. I take them for only 3 to 4 days - so it ain't so bad.


The good news is that my oncologist was really impressed with my blood work. YIPEE! She said keep up what I am doing because it is good. So many thanks to Dr. Jill Scott, my naturophathic doctor. Without her help, her tinctures, and her sound nutrition recommendations, my rebound status may not have been so impressive. THANKS JILL!


As we age and/or go through changes in our lives I recommend seeing someone (Dr. Scott, of course) for preventative care. I don't like feeling the aches of activities as I get older - I want to do things longer and feel better or as best I can.


No one has to get cancer to take better care of themselves. Oh this sounds lecture-like - I apologize.


I saved my head again. My hair continued to grow and was about an half an inch long and it was sooo blotchy because some hair started to fall out - I looked like an unfortunate street dweller. My feet hurt too and my oncologist said that is a side effect. I have to wear comfortable running type shoes all the time now or my feet will hurt even more. It is bearable and of course these things are all temporary. When my treatments are over my side effects will dissipate.

It is happening and it's about time

Well the hair (on my head) is finally starting to go. Yes - it is strange that I am relieved it has started. I think it tells me that this entire situation is moving along and getting closer to the end. I am quietly excited to see what colour and shape my hair will be when it returns. I am wanting curly white hair - yes, you heard me but what the heck - let's skip the salty gray-look and go straight to white. Knowing my luck it will come out jet black and bone straight. It doesn't really matter - I have never been that concerned about my hair. Only that it has to be easy to care for and of course, look absolutely fabulous - like always! ;o)

My 2nd Chemo treatment is next week (April 23rd). My first visit was rather interesting once it started. I was quite anxious prior to the first session but soon after I arrived it really wasn't that hard. My treatment included manual injection, one of the three drugs was administered by hand, from a syringe into my IV. If it is not properly done, my veins could dissolve, only if the drug doesn't travel fast enough into my body along with the saline solution. Very exciting. :o) I get 30-40 minutes of close personal attention so I can ask lots of questions and feel really at ease. I am very impressed with the Fraser Valley Cancer Clinic at Surrey Memorial Hospital. It 's like walking right into a family room with puzzles, knitting, crossword puzzles, smiling faces, drinks and snacks.

I have to chuckle thinking about my first visit, I was sitting across the room from a male convict getting his Chemo treatment. He was foot-shackled as well as cuffed to his chair, wearing a jumpsuit in an alarming shade of bright orange, all the while escorted by two male guards. Even though he didn't have a 'potty mouth' his conversations were Hitchcock freaky - constantly searching trying o push the limits with the guards and nurses. Very odd and strange when I reminisce , but it makes my chuckle (is this currently how I deal with uncomfortable situations?) - hey even convicts get cancer and need treatment. The nurses were awesome and didn't bite into any of his comments. Who doesn't like listening to fast, dry wit? Well all joking aside I hope I don't see him again - it was definitely weird.

Personality Test?!?!

My personality profile at this point in time of my life - its fun and easy - TRY IT yourself and see how accurate it is for you -

ESTJ - "Administrator". Much in touch with the external environment. Very responsible. Pillar of strength. 8.7% of total population.

Free Jung Word Choice Test (similar to MBTI)
personality tests by similarminds.com

ESTJ

organized, group oriented, focused, conventional, leader, emotionally stable, anal, attention seeking, planner, realistic, fearless, responsible, finisher, decisive, norm following, respects authority, punctual, hard working, stiff, self confident, thinks rules and regulations are important, follows the rules, clean, outgoing, social, content, does not like being alone, normal, regular, does not like weird or strange people / things - intolerant of differences, strict, disciplined, aggressive, assertive, content, happy, proper, formal, strict with self, meticulous, strong sense of purpose

favored careers:

executive, ceo, supervisor, business consultant, manager, strategist, financial planner, business person, office manager, public relations manager, international business specialist, business analyst, management consultant, operations manager, loan officer, lawyer, marketing, sports management, government employee, investment banker

disfavored careers:

poet, artist, songwriter, musician, novelist, art therapist, theatre teacher, art curator, film editor, video game designer, photo journalist, travel writer, actor, record store owner, camera operator, art historian, music teacher

What a week!

I am near the end of my 2nd week after chemo and doin' just fine. Currently I am on my 3rd good day in a row. This weekend was spectacularly sunshiny and I took full advantage. Gardening results are slow but I know I have been amongst the dirt. I promised Grant a new BBQ but he had to power wash the deck. Typically, the guy needs a nudge but when he is in it - he is really into it! Wow, the back deck is cleaned, so he decided to work on the front. Being north facing the algae is really metaphoric and loves to leave a black chalky-type consistency over the blue aluminum. He had just about finished the roof above the front door when CRASH - Grant fell. He is okay, bruised but okay and I can't say that about the ladder. Due to the water on the deck and the way Grant was reaching, the ladder slid underneath him, luckily he was only about 5 feet up or it could have been really ugggly! This really scarred the crap out of me and I found out that, even though mental-pause has made my voice deep and sultry-like, I can scream like a girl. Sorry Vince - we owe you a new ladder. So does anyone know where we can borrow a cherry-picker style lift?

Four days earlier, I was waiting with other parents, for our children to be released from the lockdown at NWSS on Thursday, April 10th, at Century House. SWAT teams, helicopters, loads of police - I felt like we were in the movies. Sev's class was let out at 17:30. She had been locked in her class room since 13:30 - 4 hours is a long time. Luckily nothing went bad. Good to see that the practice has paid off. Thank you Ms. Brown - Sev was really impressed with you and you all the students feel safe. I am really relieved that spending the money on a cellphone with texting capability is worth it. I was in communication with Sev and was able to get messages to other parents for her friends. If you parents are waffling about the cost - peace o' mind is priceless. At first the kids were afraid but by the time they were led safely from school, escorted by SWAT, they were exhausted and fine.

I am afraid of the poor mark I will get from the nurses at FVCC. You see, I am supposed to keep STRESS out of my life. I think I failed this session but I have a few more sessions to redeem myself. Isn't life exciting?!

I am doing things for myself - Sunday morning I made it out to my ol' soccer team game against the Kuna. What a team - eventhough the slaughter was a mild 6-0, the Stingers never gave up. That's the team I remember! I am missing the girls and the sport so I now "I will be back!"

As for me, well things are starting -

My 'mouth sores' are developing - ever so slightly. I am rinsing with soda bicarbonate and warm water and that seems to keep it in check.

Hair is starting to fall out but not from my head. Figures I would have to do it differently. It was described as my body hair would break away starting at the top - the head - and break away in descending fashion. Things that make you go 'hmmmmm' or throw up - one or the other - details, details, details. It makes me laugh as I think of the 'rebel without a cause' that lives inside myself.

I definitely can feel my energy regaining and my desire to do things - this is all good.

A brighter day -

So day 7 and I am doing okay. I don't know what to expect and I think this has some effect on the way I feel. I found a great forum site "Breast Cancer Now What?" I add and read information from others (young others - anyone 45 years and younger) who are going through cancer. I love the idea that I am considered a young woman - okay so I am at the top end but hey - I will take what ever I can get!

Cancer SUCKS!

My good neighbour and friend Craig said it yesterday - "Cancer SUCKS!" I couldn't agree more. I am day 5 after my 1st treatment and I still don't know if I feel better. I did however, last night only woke up about 3 or 4 times and was able to fall back to sleep. I believe this is an improvement. I am still restless but not like the 2nd, 3rd and 4th nights. I feel like it is a gradual life-force sucking remover - it is hard to describe.

Distraction is a good friend but does catch up with me. I do get tired after accomplishing something. I guess that is good and what the doc wants - try and do want you want and can and listen to your body if it is too much. So in other words, act normal and take responsibility when necessary - you can always milk it if you over do it. ;o)

My saving grace has been dog walking and my Mata has been willing and able to trek further than I. Thanks to Vince, Marion and Marley my current chaperones.

Look at me go - cyber girl!

Well I have to hand it to my kid - she is right - yes you heard me. I have changed my blog location to this site because it is much better and easier to use. Severn you are correct. I need to listen to you more.

Thank you all for following my adventure. I feel the strength and most of all the LOVE!